it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
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I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize