Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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