I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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