I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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