We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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