Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
