i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
