Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize