You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
