walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
