WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I didn't notice because vodka
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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