I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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