Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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