watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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