kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
