WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
