Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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