A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
