part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
