I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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