I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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