I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
