This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
