four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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