I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
