i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
