Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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