i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
