i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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