I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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