"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
