I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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