I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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