this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
