Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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