you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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