Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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