I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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