He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm both gender and math confused
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