Ambien. No doubt about it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
