Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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