I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
