she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
