and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
