What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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