and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
