Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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