omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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