I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
