I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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