So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
