i already hear my dad disowning me
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
