If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize