please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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