If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
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He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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