So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
