All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The feeling are messing with the penis
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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