just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Randomize
