What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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