i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is Oprah even human
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize