so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!