never play flip cup with pint glasses
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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