After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
